Imagine an elf, but more insufferable yeah? Ya know, take all that respect for trees, nature and things, but replace the tree with just isself. Because that’s all the drow cares about, isself innit? Yeah, like an elf, except its head fully lodged up its own asshole. White hair too. Skins a bit darker I suppose.

What, you lads never seen an elf before? They are gettin’ harder to find these days… Right, so they’s like a drow, yeah? Except they don’t worship no spider gods, and their wimen don’t rule everything. Not that elfs do much ruling since the ‘Dark. Even when they did, they weren’t much good at, what’s it? Politics. Drow’s good at politics. Never trust a drow. You make a deal with ‘em, they get this itch, one that’s not satisfied until they can turn the tables on ya. A “matter of etiquette” they call it.

And may the Tyrant have mercy if ye ever confuse one for the other! That’ll make an elf right pissy for a week; they won’t let you forget that one. Neither will a drow, though instead of being all passy-aggressy about it, they’ll just torture you to death. I mean, they’s probably going to do that anyway, but now they break out the really nice implements their granmama left ’em.


Underdark Rising astrobread